Since walking away from my 9-3:30 professional career, my goals and aspirations have been ALL OVER. So many dreams and so many passions and way too much time to consider each and every one. I’ve started and stopped more than is typical for my personality and eventually found myself in a state of paralysis, in fear of starting and stopping another dream. And quite frankly, feeling silly in the face of myself and those who ask me “What are you up to these days?” For two years I’ve been quietly making plans to launch a small business that would combine all my passions and goals and soul quenching dreams. I didn’t dare ACT on the business plan, but I sure did plan. Until one night my husband told me to GO. He felt it was time and he was confident in my well thought out plan. So I went!
For the past few month I’ve been searching, with the help of realtors, for a commercial space to lease. We’ve toured and mulled over half a dozen options, placed an offer on one and wrote many letters in an attempt to convince uncooperative building owners to become cooperative. Nothing has panned out and my energy started waning. It didn’t feel like God was walking alongside my well thought out business plan and I was a tad angry at His all knowing self about the lack of collaboration.
Meanwhile, 2 weeks ago, while on vacation in Steamboat, I got a call. It was a literary agent I had chatted with a couple times 6 months ago. I had given her my 25 page proposal for turning Rylan’s art show into a book, but it wasn’t something she quite knew what to do with it. We parted ways and I haven’t thought of it since. Turns out, she has. Two weeks ago she met with a publishing house at a conference in California and handed them my proposal. Within an hour they were asking for rights to publish it. Just like that. Book deal. Bam. Done.
This wasn’t my plan. But it definitely was THE plan. Rylan and I met our new agent and publisher at Garden of the Gods last Thursday for lunch. She lives in TX, but her son’s high school choir was touring Colorado and she was chaperoning. We chatted, looked at his artwork, shared stories of raising children with Autism (because of course she and her husband have an adult son with Autism…GOD) and parted ways. Before parting however, our publisher’s son and his high school choir gathered around us and sang us a blessing. At Garden of the Gods. Surrounded by beauty and all things heavenly. Our editor has never been in a situation this extrodinary in her years in the business. It was like a magic unicorn was flying over us, sprinkling pixie dust and giggling. After the song, which had me in tears, Rylan announced,
“I am pretty famous, so if you guys would all like an autograph, please line up.”
Of course he did. And the kids lined up. All 30ish of them received a exclusive, cursive autograph from my son and acted like it was the very best part of their day. He firmly told them not to sell the autographs as they will soon be worth $1 million. When the book is published of course. Kids approached me, talking about the connections they have to special needs individuals and what a special opportunity it was to learn about Rylan and our journey. Get outta here. Just get out.
The kids and our fairy godmother publisher got on their tour bus and headed out and Rylan and I drove the hour home. He thought it was just another day in his blessed life, but I was in a state of complete humility over God’s orchestration of our life. He knows. He plans. He acts. He listens. He denies. He’s silent. He opens doors and slams them. And I keep trying to pretend like I own control over His ways. His grace looks past my ego and blesses my pants right off constantly.
SO….we’re publishing a book. My 11-year-old son and me. We didn’t have to pitch publishers or spend months editing a proposal. We had to open our hands, release control and let God be Himself. It’s an out of the sky blessing I couldn’t have thought to ask for. But I’ll take it and I’ll run with it. He knows I will. We should have a finalized contract in the next week with a book launch a year out. What else is involved? I haven’t a clue. I sure do look forward to learning as we go. Stay tuned to the blog for all the publishing news.And if He wants this business dream of mine to take shape, it will too. Not by my will but His own.