I feel like if I state my dreams for the whole Internet to read, maybe God will see them bigger and pay more attention? No. He won’t. But maybe I’ll see them bigger and pay more attention. Maybe I’ll have something to look back at in 3 years to compare God’s vision to my own. And maybe it will look nothing like what I put out there, but maybe it will. I have dreams that stick, but feel both tangible and incredibly unforeseeable. But that’s dreaming right? When we close our eyes and search our heart, we see dreams with clarity and detail. Colorful, exploding detail. And when we open our eyes the colors fade a bit, reality seeps in and our dreams dim a bit. Or they’re put on hold. But we know, even with our eyes wide open, that if our dreams weren’t so big they wouldn’t scare us so much. That’s what makes them worth dreaming.
Two dreams I see SO clearly when my eyes are tightly closed and my heart is tuned in….
#1. MY DREAM SPACE
I envision a space, white on white on white with texture, brightness, softness and warmth. A space that invites women into a fold of creativity, acceptance, inspiration, and community. A space that offers comfort and calm in the midst of our concrete jungle of hurry and neglecting ourselves and each other. A space that exists as a resting place for women who want to work, connect, share, communicate, grow, gather, and learn for themselves and from each other. Beautifully designed work spaces will exist for solo entrepreneurs as well as meetings of the minds. Rooms where women can drip robin’s egg blue paint on the concrete floor, rooms where podcasts and heart sung melodies can be recorded, rooms where therapists can privately sit knee to knee with clients, a coffee shop where underprivileged women can find refuge through employment. This space will include lamp lighting, creamy pillows, and Anthro quilts. And distressed furniture telling a story and scripty encouragement hung intentionally on the walls. A space to showcase local talent and educate on topics screaming for attention. A space to pour Pinot and slice cheese on Thursday evenings and talk about books and all the many many things we should be talking about. A place to teach trades and connect people who otherwise wouldn’t find connection. And whatever else God sees happening in this space. Because the options would be limitless with that in mind. The beauty of what could be is tingly to my dreaming self and my eyes wide open self. Being a part of that, in whatever way God sees fit is what’s living in me. I just need the right person/people to come alongside this one. To dream a little ole’ dream with me.
#2. THE COUNTRY LIFE
This one isn’t so much an eyes wide open dream yet, but it lives so intensely in my depths. Rather than attempting to call it up into being, I print photos that speak to it and gaze at them every time I walk up my staircase. That way I can dream of it with my eyes wide open. The older and less tolerant I get, which is definitely happening on both fronts, the more I ache to get outta town. To leave all the options and simplify it all. The options stifle me most days. I’m anxious choosing between 726 schools, 7,964 qualified non profits to volunteer with, 13 places that sell paint in a five mile radius, and 467 occupational therapists who could do a bang up job. There are too many box retailers offering too many lackluster options of everything and anything under the blazing hot sun. There’s not enough shade from it all. The lack of trees, rolling hues of green, sheep grazing, and aged wood hurts my insides. I know, that’s oh so dramatic, but it’s also flat out true. I’m over the pace and fighting against the pace. I crave acres where my kids can take off and get in trouble with nature herself. I envision massive farmhouse tables outside, inviting refuge for people longing for the same things. Just a simple, beautiful place to call home and to invite others into. Because community is becoming something we “fit in” rather than something we “live in.” And I hate that. We make it so complicated. So I’ll dream of a country lifestyle, which of course would be made beautiful. Maybe even a weekend escape into this lifestyle. Again, this is an eyes closed kind of dream. For now.
What are you dreamin’ about with your eyes closed tight? And what have you mustered up the courage to act on and dream about, eyes wide open? There’s a place for both types of dreaming. This I’m sure about. As long as we don’t tidy those dreams up and lock them away. I just unlocked my dream world……