Oh there are days.  We all have um.  Filled with things we can’t control.  Most days fall below the radar.  And some just seem to fall into the category of “overflowing with things we can’t control.”  Today was a bit overflowing.  I don’t bitch and moan about much and so I won’t.  Instead I’ll focus on truths rather than categorizing these “quirky life things” as being out of my control.

Truth.  I went off my 10 mg of anti-anxiety meds this week to see if my new calm self can regulate on it’s own. I was hopeful that after 8 months of being uncharacteristically even and flowy that I would naturally fall into that persona.  After a lot of deep breathing, an impatient state of mind and a racing heart today, I’m feeling rather defeated.  My truth might include permanent anxiety altering meds if I want to live a flowy life. If my family wants to live a flowy life.

Truth. Due to the magic pills just referenced, my size 6 hips are a thing of the past.  This med has graced me with more poundage than my Aspen tree frame has ever known. Doesn’t seem to matter how much Jillian I do. Goodbye aspen tree frame.  Oh how I’ve taken you for granted. And a bigger cup size and a badump trunk to speak of, which I’ll give thanks for.  As will my husband.

Truth.  My Dude has Sensory Processing Disorder and a killer case of ADD.  It could be so much more difficult than it is, but it’s difficult enough that we will constantly have to advocate for him.  School has been smooth(ish), but the bumps are becoming more evident.  Advocating has become a regular part of our routine it seems.  Sometimes that feels like a larger than life truth.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Today it does.

Truth.  My sweet diva pees herself a lot these days.  For whatever reason 2 year olds pee themselves.  She even managed to shat all over the day care deck yesterday.  Cute huh?  Gotta love digression for no apparent reason.  If you’re in our half bath and inhale a foul odor, it’s pee.  All over the shag rug.

Those are the truths wearing on my racing heart tonight.  The good news is that they’ll all work out into a beautiful story that I’ll write a book on someday.  And, thanks to my new routine of sitting, upright, in our new printed living room chair with a glass of Pinot resting on the glass top table next to me and reading God’s encouraging words, I know that worrying about all of these things that I have no control over will put me over the edge.  But sometimes it’s good to at least state them.  And so I’m stating them.  I hope you’re able to work through your truths this week.  We all have um, right?  I’d sure love to hear your truths.  Even just one.

IMG_2857 This flower makes my truths seem less fierce, so enjoy this little taste of God’s all encompassing plans.